Crucial conversations summary trial#
Crucial conversations summary series#

Look for ways to do both: speak up and have a stronger relationship. In high-risk discussions, stay focused on what you really want (your big-picture goal, such as a stronger relationship), so you don’t get sidetracked by conversational games, such as trying to win, punish the other person, or keep the peace.Īlso, refuse the fool’s choice of limiting yourself to an either/or alternative (I can stay silent and keep the peace, or I can speak up and ruin my relationship). The first of the Crucial Conversations 7 principles is to know your heart. Using these main principles, you can use crucial conversations skills to form better dialogues and communication channels. The Crucial Conversations 7 principles aren’t hard to understand. Specifically, there are seven key dialogue principles, including implementation skills you can learn. Many conversations, however, go off the rails as people act out by pushing their views aggressively, withholding their views, or acting from motives that undercut the shared purpose. It’s important that all parties participate in order to reach the best conclusion or outcome. And when they do, their career, health, personal relationships, and their organization or company benefit tremendously.įor crucial conversations to be constructive, they must have a shared purpose and the conditions must be safe for everyone to contribute. People can learn the skills to handle these conversations effectively. For example, when one partner is neglecting the other, the aggrieved partner may respond with sarcasm and sniping - which causes the offending party to spend even less time with him or her.īut this doesn’t have to happen. We act in ways that keep us from getting what we want. We don’t know where to start in terms of responding to or initiating a crucial conversation, so we just plunge in. Crucial conversations often catch us by surprise - we have a knee-jerk reaction and later end up wondering, what was I thinking? When under stress, we get an adrenaline surge and blood is diverted from the brain to muscles so that our thinking ability suffers. We typically fail at these conversations because: This is where the Crucial Conversations 7 principles can help. We may withdraw, or rage and say things we later regret. We behave our worst at the most critical moments. And in fact, when we do have crucial conversations, we usually handle them badly. We often try to avoid having these conversations because we’re afraid we’ll make matters worse. Examples include: ending a relationship, asking a roommate to move out, resolving an issue with an ex-spouse, confronting a coworker about his/her behavior, or giving the boss critical feedback. These conversations can have a huge impact on your life. Crucial conversations are often typical daily interactions as opposed to planned, high-level meetings. Organizational performance and the quality of relationships improve significantly when people learn the skills to handle these crucial conversations effectively.Ī crucial conversation is a discussion characterized by high stakes, differing opinions, and strong emotions. In Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When The Stakes Are High, authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler argue that many problems are caused by how people behave when they disagree with others about high-stakes, emotional issues. What Are the Crucial Conversations 7 Principles, and Why Do They Work? The Crucial Conversations 7 principles make an easy-to-follow list that you can apply to your own communication skills.

Crucial conversations summary series#

The Crucial Conversations 7 principles are a series of tools that can help guide you through difficult conversations.

What are the Crucial Conversations 7 principles? What can the 7 principles teach you about communication?

Crucial conversations summary trial#

Like this article? Sign up for a free trial here. Shortform has the world's best summaries of books you should be reading. This article is an excerpt from the Shortform summary of 'Crucial Conversations' by Kerry Patterson.